The Boy Who Cried Manic

Often times when there is a high profile suicide or public episode pertaining to a mental illness, those close to me will ask me to weigh in. I take a lot of pride in being my social circles’ mental health expert. Now this is not to be confused with a professional opinion but simply the resident mental health expert, and if you don’t take up residency with me, feel free to disregard.

The current headline involves NFL lineman Chad Wheeler’s domestic violence involving his girlfriend. The police describe a scene where his size and force could hardly be overtaken by three cops on him amassing around 700lbs. He claims to have been having a manic episode and vehemently apologizes for his actions.

As luck would have it, I was having a manic episode at the same time (I hope you’re cool with sarcasm)! So, a couple points:

1. This is the reason for the push to normalize discussing mental health! Not only with your therapist but with anyone. If I had done any harm to any person, place or thing, qmy mother, boyfriend, and several of my closest friends were aware I was manic. Not only because I identified it and told them, but also because they are educated on it enough to know the warning signs. Therefore, in the event I was endangering myself or others, someone close to me could call the proper authorities and forewarn them that I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and appeared to be having a manic episode.

2. I do not say this to say I believe him. I’m simply saying if he was having a manic episode and he knew that or she was able to identify that, this could have possibly been avoided. Now, in the case that he wasn’t aware of what was happening and she didn’t see anything out of the ordinary until the altercation, I’d question how he came to that conclusion so quickly after the fact because mania is not something to take lightly. And if you know your diagnosis, your partner absolutely should too!

3. My favorite question: Can you really snap like that? And my response: Abso-freaking-lutely! Day One of my episode I text my boyfriend “I’m having an out of body experience” and technically I don’t know if it’s Outer Body or Out Of Body but I know for sure I was somewhere else. Personally, my mania does not show itself as rage or anger BUT A LOT of people’s does. Being physically violent while unfortunate is not uncommon. I’m more of a ball of fire racing around trying not to harm myself in the process but this looks different for everyone. No matter how it sounds, I have someone I can call and say, “Hey I’m having a hard time driving today. Can you come get me or stay on the phone until I’m safe?” It’s not crazy to them because it’s MY normal. So once again, see why normalizing the conversation would help? If he has been honest in the past about how he feels then he won’t seem like the boy who cried manic!

4. Men! Go to the doctor! Any doctor! Fast! I don’t know who made superheroes but God made humans. And he made some of em doctors. You don’t have to play on a torn ACL. You don’t have to see with a bloody eye. You don’t have to think with a concussed brain. Idk who made knees more priority than A BRAIN but if something’s wrong up top best believe it’s gonna be wayyyyy more painful in the long run. FUN FACT: Your doctor, no matter their specialty, knows enough about a brain to know if they should refer you to someone else. So next time you’re getting your jammed finger pulled out tell them about the stress you’re under or how you can’t sleep at night or how you’re just not yourself. In other words (and idk how many other ways to say it) normalize the conversation.

5. Do I think he should be punished? Now this is a deep one. The short is, I don’t know enough. About the situation, the law, and quite frankly mental illness. On one hand, I in no way, shape, or form condone domestic violence or violence of any kind. I can not begin to imagine not only the physical but also emotional trauma his girlfriend experienced. This is a huge man and it is completely unacceptable for him to ever put his hand on a woman and most men for that matter. On the other hand, what I will say is I don’t think our jail system handles the mentally ill appropriately. But that’s another conversation because I truly don’t know if this person has a mental illness.

6. CTE is a scary S.O.B! And I ain’t saying he got it, just something that came up in related convos. The fact that it’s only diagnosed posthumously, after someone has lived in agony is devastating, especially with all the money made off of these athletes who are at high risk. One would think the donations to the research and early detection would be numerous. I just knew that would change after the movie Concussion but again, I’m not a professional or a doctor or researcher or wealthy enough to be said philanthropist.

So that’s that on that! For more on my opinions on current events, just ask and if I’m in just the right state of mind I’ll be super helpful!